As many of you know, Brandon and I have different opinions on whether or not we should find out what the gender of our baby is. I desperately want to find out so that I can start buying cute baby stuff and getting prepared since this is our first. Brandon feels like finding out before the baby is born takes away all the excitement and that it's not as fun. Well, it's getting closer to when we could actually find out and we have been at odds about what to do. We both understand the other's feelings on the matter but neither of us is willing to budge. For me, I have to know what this baby is or I will not be able to fully enjoy this pregnancy. I feel like if I can find out, I will be able to bond with the baby and just really be able to feel like it's real. Not to mention, I hate surprises and waiting would drive me crazy! We have tossed around some ideas as far as compromising and this is what we have come up with... I'm going to find out but Brandon isn't. My mom is coming up here the weekend of September 6th and she's going to come to the ultrasound with me. On a side note, my doctor's office doesn't do an ultrasound until 20 weeks. That would be the end of September or first of October for me and we (my mom and I) couldn't wait that long so we set up one at one of those 3D ultrasound clinics. So Brandon will still come to the one at 20 weeks with me so he can see the baby too. Anyway, does anyone think this will work? I've heard it's been done before and I'm going to be really careful to not tell Brandon or let him see stuff I buy but what do you all think? This was really the only way we could think of that both of us could get what we want.
15 comments:
You have to find out! And if he somehow finds out oh well! You are carrying that baby for nine long months! He'll just have to suck it up! haha! Just kidding brandon. Just tell him you need to know so megan, his favorite friend of Holleys, can send you cute baby stuff. And i only do pink or blue, so I have to know! Its all about me here... can you tell! :)
Personally i think once you know it will drive Brandon crazy because he will be so curious! I think he will drag it out of you before the 20 week mark, but I could be totally wrong! Otherwise, I think its a good compromise! Good luck no matter what.
Hey Holly! I just found your blog. Congrats!!! I totally know what you mean about having to know what your having. I don't think I could do it any other way. It's going to be hard to keep the secret from your husband, but you can just hide the stuff! :)
I don't think you could hide all the stuff from him for 9 months. I know I couldn't go that long knowing what it is, and not slipping once and saying he or she! And then naming the baby, you would know exactly what names to go for, but he would still go both. I wish you both the best of luck... you will have to let me know how it turns out!
Oh my gosh HOLLEY! Tell your husband to get out of the 19th century! Tell him it will still be a surprise finding out with an ultrasound just the same as it would be when you push the baby out. And definitely I don't think you'll be able to keep it a secret for another 6 months, that is forever! You'll be too excited to tell him! I would be! I would certainly find out and shout it to the world including him, how sad if he were the only one to not know just because he wants it to be a surprise? It will be a surprise either way. Okay, I'll get off my soapbox, sorry. But good luck with everything, hope it works out.
Hey, we figured we would find out eventually anyway. Knowing the sex doesn't take any excitement away from the birth. It's still all very dramatic, weird, exciting, etc. If you find out during the 20 week appointment, that is just an extra exciting time, only sooner!
If that's what he wants to do, then I guess it's up to you guys, but I think it's crazy. It's one of the fun surprise milestones along the way. You have: finding out you're pregnant in the first place, hearing the heartbeat for the first time, seeing the ultrasound and finding out the gender (my doctor only did the 1 at 20 weeks as well), and then the huge surprise of when you'll have your baby and the love you'll feel for it (plus the mini milestones that can happen if you know the gender: the day you figure out the name, deciding how to decorate the room, etc).
The birth is full of enough excitement as is. Tell him he should spread some of that excitement out by finding out the gender before the birth. Plus, it's so much fun to imagine what life will be like with your new baby and it'd be sad to not be able to do the imagining and wondering with your husband (gender makes a big difference in this, at least for me).
If you think it can work and that's really what he wants then good luck, but I couldn't do it. I'm also a believer that the one carrying the baby gets 2 votes against his 1 ;).
Good Luck you guys! I know Micah and I are going to find out and we are super excited! I agree that if you both decide to find out then that is two wonderful days that you get to have EXTRA celebrating, instead of one. Plus you can shop together and that is always more fun too!
On the other hand my sister and her husband are in the same predicament as you guys are in. She is going to find out and he is not. Personally I think this isn't going to end well for him, I mean wouldn't he rather find out on purpose when the doctor reveals it, rather than a slip up sometime between then and the birth.
Although maybe for a compromise, you could wait for the actual ultrasound to find out and not do the thing at the mall, plus I have heard horror stories about those machines:) Good Luck and we will be looking forward to hearing how it all turns out:)
Thank you all for your comments! You all made great points and I can't wait to share them with Brandon tonight. Most people have been on his side of this arguement so it makes me feel good to have some back up too! I still don't think he's going to budge but it's worth a shot.
hey holley! its erica (ludlow) patten. how are you? pregnant sounds like! haha. i had to comment because im totally with your husband on this one...chris and i chose not to find out (well i had to convince him a little not to) but it seriously has been so fun not knowing! we're coming down to the final weeks, i'll admit its a little stressful not having one thing, but it will give me something to do afterwords...right? anyways, call me crazy but i recomend not finding out. either way though....CONGRATS!!!!
Holly! I think that finding out is part of the process! Tell Brandon that there will be so many surprises a long the way he will want to hide:) Don't worry.. lack of excitement will never be an issue! Your whole life changes, if that's not excitement I don't know what is!!
love you holls balls:)
Brandon should have known this before he knocked you up that YOU HATE SURPRISES!!! This should not even be in for discussion! Finding out is a must for you and I am 100 percent on your side with this!
I was thinkin of that same comprimise as i was reading your post then I saw that you had thought the same thing.. so ya it'll be fun you knowin but tryin to keep it a secret! Congrats by the way I had no idea you were prego but i'm way excited for you guys.. it's awesome you're gonna love being a mommy! Have a good day.. good luck findin out you'll have to secretely let me know hah..
congrads holley!!!! i know being sick is the worst ever!!!! it's so weird how things will smell different and make you want to puke!!!!! if ryan didn't want to know what we were having and i did, i would go ahead and find out and just not let him see what i bought!! of course if that was fine with him!!!:) so fun!!!!
I was just like you. I hate surprises and I HAD to know. Stick to your guns.
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